She was easily two inches taller than me and outweighed me by at least fifty pounds. And solid. I won’t say she didn’t have any fat on her, but if we went head to head in a wrestling match I didn’t think I’d stand a chance. Back in my less socially conscious days, I would have called her a railroad dyke.A Long Time Ago: Honorary LesbianBack when I was working on my PhD in playwriting—officially, dramatic theory—while trying to hammer out my first novel, I still had to earn a living. Paula’s assessment was proving to be correct. I stood a chance of making money by designing and building sets. I’d taken my latest script to a startup theater on the east edge of St. Paul to meet with their artistic director. He’d nodded over the script and said it was interesting and funny, but he wasn’t sure his group would be the right venue for a farce about an Indiana preacher. On the other hand, would I be interested in designing the theater’s upcoming production of The Crucible?I took the job after. There was a guy in there moving boxes around. He was about fifty years old and looked to be about fifty pounds overweight. I stood in the door opening for a minute, waiting for him to notice me. Finally, he did."Can I help you with something?" Yes, I'm looking for a Mr. Jim Davis." That's me, what can I do for you?" They sent me from the Human Resources to interview for a job." You like beef jerky?" Not really." You like pepperoni sticks?" No, too greasy." How about smoked beef sausage?" Never tried it." He reached over to a large maroon Naugahyde bag and pulled out a two foot long round sausage, like a Hickory Farms sausage that you see around Christmas time. He cut it in half, and then sliced off a small piece from one of the open ends. He handed the meat to me. It didn't seem too hygienic to pass food around that way, at least, not to me, it didn't."Stick that in your mouth and tell me what you think." So I did, careful to first tear off the casing. It was good, tasty, and didn't.
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